


one-hundred million miles

by katebishoop



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Katt - Freeform, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-25 00:22:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20715008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katebishoop/pseuds/katebishoop
Summary: Matt found out about Keith on accident.Matt became friends with Keith on accident.Matt fell in love with Keith on accident.





	one-hundred million miles

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this back in March, and when going through my files I found it and I felt the need to finish it. For how many years the paladin's were missing, I try to keep it vague because I'm still not emotionally ready to go back into that series to check the correct amount of time.

Matt found out about Keith on accident.

Sort of. The team’s response made Matt worry that he stumbled onto something he shouldn't have. He had asked about the heathenous non-color coordination, because really, how would Katie dare-

"Oh, Keith is-was the Red Paladin," Pidge said. "But he's gone now."

His face must have betrayed his thoughts - wait, Keith? The cadet Shiro took under his wing? What do you mean GONE- but Hunk quickly stepped in with his hands up and a weary yet reassuring smile.

"Not dead! God no. Jeez, Pidge you made it sound like-" Hunk shook his head. "Keith left to go work with the Blade of Marmora."

The Blade?

Matt furrowed his brow. "But to be a blade-"

"You gotta be Galra, yep." The one that glared at him - Lance - cut in. "Yeah, turns out his dad fucked an alien. We think. Not entirely sure-"

"That's enough, Lance." Shiro cut in. Matt hasn't seen him since the arena, and the changes are stark. "We need to get back to work."

"Pfft, I'm giving Matt a tour first." Pidge grabs his hands and starts running off. "We'll be done when I say I'm done!"

The tour was thorough alright. Holts may have an uncanny ability to stay awake for long periods of time, but as the evening drew nearer it was clear that Pidge hadn’t slept in days. One minute she's insisting she's fine and the next she's drooling on Hunk's shirt.

"Hunk, why don't you take Pidge to her room?" Matt jumped at the sound - he hadn't even heard Shiro come in, standing right behind him, towering shadow over him. "I'll show Matt to his."

Matt's room is not entirely empty. It's the same layout as the other's, only starkly bare. The bed was made with Garrison regulation precision. The only other object in the room is a jacket, red and yellow and suspiciously short, hanging on the opposite wall.

Shiro caught him staring. "This was Keith's room."

"Oh, I don't want to intrude-"

"He left Matt, you're fine. Do you want me to get the jacket out of here-?"

"No!" Matt said, a bit too quickly, both to his and Shiro's surprise. "It's fine... not like it takes up much space, right?"

Shiro shrugged a shoulder. "Rest well, Matt."

The doors closed behind Shiro as he left, and for the first time since reuniting with his sister, he felt a strange sense of dread.

* * *

Matt ran into Keith on accident.

At a secret base deep in an asteroid field, a group of Galra - The Blades - were exiting their ship.

One was much, much shorter than the rest. And when that one pulled their hood down, there's a mane of black hair that Matt hadn't seen on any Galra.

"Keith?" Matt called, feet moving forward before his mind registered it. "Keith!"

The small Blade tensed, but turned around. And sure enough - the face looking back at him was decidedly human.

Those wide, surprised eyes looked purple in the light, alien-like. Confusion, recognition, action.

"Matt?" Keith's surprise turns into a furrowed brow. Matt saw his hand slowly release the grip on the knife at his back. "What are you doing here? How-? Does Pidge know?"

"Yeah, Pidge tracked me down to an outpost. I was at the castle a few days-" Matt cut himself off. "Wait, they didn't tell you?"

Keith bristled, trying his best to hide it and failing.

"They're really busy," Keith said, not meeting his eyes. "No time for personal calls."

Matt frowned at that. They had time for video games - hell, they had plenty of free time so why wouldn't they...?

"Did something-?"

"Look, Matt, It's great to see you - that they found you - but I gotta get back-"

A scoff came from behind Keith, a large shadow loomed over them. A large Blade stared down at them, and even with his mask still on, Matt could tell he was unimpressed.

"We got at least eighteen Vargas before we can leave." The Blade said. "Take a break. Don't know when we'll get the next one. Don't even know the last time you had one."

Keith, perturbed, glared at the blade. "Ilun-"

The Blade - Ilun - shoved Keith in the shoulder. It sent Keith right into Matt's chest, a little bit of hair in Matt's mouth. Gross.

"Make sure the kit eats, alright?" Matt balked when he realized the Blade was addressing him. "Needs all the sustenance he can get if he ever wants to be even half the size as a full-blooded Galra..."

Ilun marched away, leaving Keith red-faced, eyes locked on the ground. He looked as if he was about to bolt at any minute-

"You know, I make a damn fine space grilled cheese," Matt said. Keith glanced up at him, his hair obscuring his eyes. "You know. Closest possible equivalent."

Keith shifted, and for a second Matt thought he was going to leave but instead, Keith lifted his head up and looked at Matt. Damn that's an intense stare-

"Can't be worse than Food Goo, right?" Keith said, albeit begrudgingly.

Matt'll call that a win.

* * *

Matt became friends with Keith on accident.

They were sort of friends, before. Had mutual friends. Were acquaintances. Soldiers in the same war.

Their first meal together had been awkward to say the least. Keith wouldn't open up, which didn't surprise Matt, but that meant that Matt had to speak to fill the silence.

Keith - Keith listened though. He didn't just grunt and nod. He actually  _ engaged _ with Matt, though somewhat warningly, reserved.

He warmed up a bit after Matt's space grilled cheese.

War was chaos. War ass unpredictable. With his duties and Keith's missions, Matt didn't expect to see Keith again any time soon. But they kept bumping into each other at the same bases, at the same time.

Matt's missions always required a lot of regrouping: unloading supplies, repairing the ship, checking scanners, updating the logs, and so on and so on and so on and ugh. Keith's missions... sometimes Matt saw Keith, albeit briefly. They touched down enough to reload supplies before heading out again. But as the war raged on, Keith's missions got more and more dangerous, and the rebound time gots longer and longer.

Keith kept surprising Matt. The first time Matt saw Keith spar with one of his fellow Blades, he wondered how anyone couldn't see how  _ inhuman  _ it was.

When Matt's having trouble with some maintenance on his ship, rattling off everything he's tried. Keith was staring hard at the parts and cut Matt off when he took the wrench from his hand.

Matt's hours-long problem? Keith fixed it within minutes.

"I had to do all the work myself on my hoverbike." Keith shrugged.

That's how Matt got Keith to open up - he didn't. Keith opened up when something was relevant; when he was comfortable. He’d answer Matt's related questions - and when he started getting shifty Matt would change the subject. Keith would never tell him, but by Keith’s shift in posture, he could tell that Keith appreciated it.

Friendship with Keith was late nights and crack-ass early mornings. It's rummaging in the commissary for anything they could make resemble some semblance of Earth food - morse-so at Matt's insistence, then Keith's, who insisted that ration bars tasted  _ fine  _ after the hundredth. Friendship with Keith was watching the stars and watching the ships come and go from the station, making up stories for them better than war.

(Friendship with Keith was  _ not  _ watching the  _ Voltron Show!  _ streams, no matter how silly they were. Matt could sense the sadness and longing that radiated off Keith. Matt saved the recordings for when he was alone from then on).

(When Matt had contact with Katie and the paladins, they never asked about Keith. Matt didn’t mention him either though. He had a strange urge to shield Keith from them).

Friendship with Keith was a semblance of normalcy that wrapped Matt up like a warm blanket.

The first time Matt heard Keith laugh, he's hooked on the sound. It's his mission from then on to make his friend laugh, to make him smile as much as he could.

Some nights though - it was just not possible.

* * *

"If he had just five more ticks, Leynik would have made it," Keith said, head tilted back against the wall, eyes gazing upward at the ceiling. They're in one of the smaller bunk rooms. Those, thankfully, had some luxury of privacy. They're sitting side by side on the bed as they passed a bottle of nunvil between them. It's the worst thing Matt's ever had in his life, but the occasion called for it.

"I'm sorry," Matt said, for lack of anything better to say.

Keith snorts. "He's not - Laynik, I mean." Keith clarified when Matt glanced at him. "Mission objective accomplished. That's all that matters."

"Keith, that's not-"

"Victory or death; knowledge or death." Keith waved his hand. "We know what we signed up for."

"Keith..." Matt said. "I'm still sorry, he was your friend, you shouldn't have-"

"He wasn't my friend," Keith said, voice going quiet. "Regris- Regris was my friend."

"Regris?"

Keith took a long swig from the bottle. Matt cringed at the disgusted look of discomfort on Keith's face.

"Supposed to be a cut and dry infiltration mission," Keith said, but he's not talking to Matt, not really. "Get in, plant the tracker, get out." Keith laugh was bitter and brittle. "It was a trap. We needed to go, but just a few more ticks Regris said. Just a few more ticks."

His sigh sent a shake through his body. Keith's grip on the bottle had his knuckles turning white. "I tried to get him but- there wasn't time." Keith's voice cracked on the last word, his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed the ache in his throat.

"Keith..." Matt's never seen Keith like this. He never wanted to see Keith like this again.

Keith took yet another swig from the bottle. His free hand absentmindedly rubbed at a spot on his abdomen.

"I tried to save him." Keith pressed his hand hard into his eyes Matt's sure black spots were dancing in his vision. "We're at war, people die - but why-?"

_ 'Why him and not me?' _

Matt knew what Keith was feeling all too well. Survivor's guilt, survivor's grief. When he found out about what happened to Te'Osh...

Slowly, Matt placed his hand on the one of Keith's that was holding the bottle of nunvil. Keith flinched, but he didn't resist when Matt pulled his fingers off the bottle and put it out of Keith’s reach.

The way Keith was clasping onto Matt's hand was a good sign for Matt to continue. Carefully, Matt pulled the hand that was covering Keith's eyes away from his face.

Keith's not crying - his eyes aren't even gleaming with unshed tears. But his eyes are red and the bags under his eyes are darker than his actual eyes. The lines on Keith's forehead are as deep and etched as desert canyons. He looked so tired.

"Keith..." Matt didn't know what he was doing. His experience of comforting and consoling was pretty limited to Big Brother related issues. But as Keith said, they were at war. They had to adapt.

"You can't think about it like that." Matt tried. "It'll only get worse. You have to go on. Make sure that his death wasn't in vain."

Keith looked up at Matt then, eyes locking onto his. "I know you're right. The Blades can go on without him. They can go on without me. While I can I'll-"

"Woah - no, Keith that's not what I'm saying. We need you!" Matt implored. "You can't be thinking of yourself like that. There are people that need you - Voltron and Katie and Shiro - they all need you. 

Keith's eyes, glazed and unfocused, drifted from Matt's to a spot behind him.

"They don't need me, Matt. I made sure of it." Keith said, voice barely above a whisper.

_ "Shiro took his job as Black Paladin from Keith," Pidge said. _

_ "Yeah, couldn't cut it!" Lance yelled from where he was on the couch. "His obsession with Lotor kept ruining our airshows! We can't form Voltron without the head, duh." _

Oh, next time Matt was on the Castle of Lions, Matt was going to have a little  _ chat  _ with all of them.

(But why hadn't Shiro already?)

"You're right," Matt said, and he continued through the guilt of seeing Keith flinch. "Right now they can form Voltron without you. And if you die, the Blade won't fall apart. But - Keith, but that's not what anyone would want."

Matt swallowed. He was blowing this - he didn't yet know the Code of Keith, how to get past all his firewalls- 

"Keith," Matt said with such conviction that Keith's eyes darted back to his. "I don't want to have to go on without you."

Keith's expression was pure shock, and while the words came to him before he even realized, Matt felt their truth deep in his bones.

"You're my friend." Matt clasped onto Keith's hands so strongly, he wasn't sure which one of them was shaking. "What you're feeling because of what happened to Regris, you don't want that for me, do you? For Shiro and Katie and the rest of them?" Matt was definitely shaking now. "Look I- I don't know what else to say, or how'd I'd even say it. But - I get we're all soldiers and technically we're disposable but we're- you're not-"

Matt sighed, leaning into Keith's space, unconsciously being pulled into his orbit. And Keith, for all his touch-aversion, didn't pull back. "I'm going to shut up that train of thought before it crashes. So this is going to sound corny and cheesy but - dude, believe in yourself? We're going to get through this okay? Together. You're my friend - and sorry but that's a life sentence, okay?"

"You're drunk." Keith bristled. 

"Pfft. So are you." Matt said - or slurred really. It's all really hitting them now. "But I'll drill this into you again when we're sober and hungover tomorrow, okay?"

-but then - ever so slightly - a ghost of a smile graced his face.

And as they laid down on the bunk - both too tired and too tipsy and too emotionally drained to separate - it was enough for now.

* * *

Things were both the same and different after that.

They don't talk about it. Matt didn't really have a chance too, because Keith's gone in the morning and it's nearly two weeks later until he saw Keith again.

The brightest, biggest grin was stretching across Matt's face when he spotted Keith in the hangar. When Keith finally saw him - Matt could tell the pieces had fallen into place. Keith was smiling back.

Keith did not have an aversion to touch like Matt thought. Matt just had to earn it, and now that he had, Keith’s much more open to it.

They didn't mean to, but they shared a bed more often than not when they're together. Sometimes they were drinking, sometimes they were just too tired. There's another cot in the room... but neither of them suggested it, and neither of them go for it. It's an unspoken agreement.

Matt tried to give Keith a retro morse code transmitter so they could talk while he was away - but even that was deemed too much of a risk for the Blade of Marmora.

It’s by chance then that they get to see each other. Matt hoped for it every time he stepped onto that base.

He saw all the things that drew Shiro to Keith - his heart, his tenacity, his stubbornness and will. His small secret smile and the way his eyebrows scrunch up when he’s thinking and how his hair is always soft and-

Somehow they’ve fallen into bed in more ways than one. Keith’s lips were chapped and his hands were calloused and he’s warm  _ so warm _ and Matt felt so, so good…

Woah. Okay. Some of those things Matt figured out all on his own which was-

No big deal, Matt told himself as he fell asleep with Keith’s head on his chest, again. 

Even after all this time, Keith was still pretty guarded. That’s just how he was. Matt wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize their friendship. Their… whatever-this-was-ship.

In the early mornings, when Keith believed Matt was still asleep, he’d burrow in a little more and sigh so breathily. It sent shivers up Matt spine every time.

When he got up for real that morning, Keith was already up. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, hunched over and stressed - Matt could at least read him in that.

“What’s wrong?” Matt said, all grogginess he’d been feeling leaving him immediately. 

Keith turned to Matt - the stress and weariness was still there, but there was a devilish smirk that Matt hadn’t seen before.

“You ready to go on the offensive?”

Holy shit.

Finally.

“You know it.”

Keith reached out his hand for Matt, who gripped it tightly. 

“We got a mission briefing to attend.”

Keith pulled both of them up to their feet, together.

* * *

This is the first time that Matt has seen Keith interact with the rest of the Paladins. Which - which isn’t saying much, considering Keith doesn’t speak once during the whole transmission and none of the Paladins address him.

Matt’s always been a good multi-tasker. He could be briefed and keep an eye on Keith at the same time. Really.

Olia nudged him once. He tried to be a little more discreet after that.

It’s all hustle and bustle from there and it’s not until they’re both about to depart to their respective ships when Matt finally got ahold Keith.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Okay, Matt.”

“And don’t do anything I would do!”

“Now those contradict each other, so-”

“Keith.” Matt grabbed onto Keith shoulders. Matt swallowed, leaning back as he removed one of his hands from one of Keith’s shoulders. “Just be careful, okay?”

Keith did that little head tilt he does when he’s thinking and god damn if that was the last thing Matt needed was to be distracted memories of the night before and by how pretty-

Keith put his hand over Matt’s.

“You do the same.”

It was meant to be reassuring, but all Matt felt was dread.

* * *

_ “Keith? Keith, what are you doing!?” _

_ “Whatever I can.” _

_ “Keith! KEITH, NO-” _

* * *

“What were you thinking!?” Matt yelled before Keith had fully disembarked from the fighter.

“I was thinking about saving them.” Keith said. He looked gaunt, angry.

Matt certainly was angry.

“You call that saving them? We talked about-”

“We didn’t know Lotor would show up.”

“There had to have been another way!”

“There were no other options-”

“You don’t have to sacrifice yourself-”

“We had to do something, or the Paladins would be dead.” Keith seethed. “ _ I _ had to do something. Sometimes that comes with a price.”

“Comes with a price?” Matt fired back. “No, Keith this is your life we’re talking about. You’re more important than-”

“Pidge?”

That shut Matt right up.

They locked eyes, staring each other down. Keith had made a point that Matt couldn’t get around.

How could Matt tell him? How could Matt tell him that Keith had become just as important to him? That he valued all the time they spent together just as much as he valued Keith himself? How could Matt tell Keith that-

“I care about you.” Matt said, voice cracking.

Keith tensed up. 

_ No no no no _ .

When Keith spoke, his voice was thin. “That’s why I did what I did.”

_ No no no no no don’t leave don’t leave- _

“That’s why I’d do it again.”

* * *

Keith left. Months go by and Matt hasn’t heard a thing from him. He was never at the base. Matt would arrange his blanket in such a way that he’d know if someone - and the only other person with the code - had been there.

He’d never been.

Matt asked Kolivan once.

“He is on mission,” was all Kolivan would say.

At least Matt knew he was alive.

He wanted to tell Keith so many things. That he’d found his Dad. That they were making contact with Earth. 

_ (No one even thought to ask if Keith wanted to send a message back. No one even mentioned him). _

He wanted to tell Keith that he understood. That he was sorry. That he was angry but not at Keith but at the war and all the hard choices that they had to make and they were barely adults-

He wanted to tell Keith how much he meant - means to him.

Katie and the Paladins went missing. Kolivan finally confirmed that he’d lost contact with Keith on his mission, months and months ago.

As soon as you figure out what something is worth, it gets ripped away from you, doesn’t it?

* * *

Years later, back on Earth, Pidge filled Matt in.

“So turns out that Shiro - the one you met in space - was actually a clone slash sleeper agent.” Pidge rattled off. “Keith came back from his mission like - older! He went through some time dilation and came back with an Altean - Romelle, the blonde girl in Allura’s room. And he said that Lotor was lying and after confronting him that’s when Clone Shiro was activated and Keith took the Black Lion and fought him. Came back with a gnarly scar, we beat Lotor, and Allura restored Shiro’s soul to the clone body…”

“And now we’re here.” Pidge said, satisfied.

Matt blinked at her. 

“Well. Okay then.”

“Yeeeeeep.” Pidge said, leaning back into the pillows of her hospital bed. “You can ask Keith more when he wakes up.”

“Huh?” Matt perked up, heart skipping a beat. The thought of seeing Keith again - “He hasn’t woken up?”

Pidge frowned. “He’s the only one who hasn’t. Black took the brunt of the explosion.” Pidge bit her lip. “His previous injuries didn’t help either.”

“Previous injuries?”

“From his fight with Shiro’s clone.” Pidge said. “He was real beat up after it - but he downplayed it. We didn’t push.”

Matt clenched his fists. Of course Keith did.

“Hey, Matt?” Matt looked up at Pidge’s quiet voice. “Can you talk to Shiro? He’s really beating himself up over Keith…”

“Yeah, of course.” Matt was going to do that anyway, albeit a bit more angrily. Knowing it was a clone… Matt would give Shiro the benefit of the doubt. “Where is he?”

“Keith’s room, probably.” Pidge said. “If he’s not working, he’s there.”

Matt should have known. It’s exactly where he’d be, too. 

* * *

Knowing that Shiro had been a clone, so many things fell into place. Shiro had been distant, belligerent to Keith - intentionally, to destabilize the team.

Why everyone else went along with it is something Matt doesn’t know, but will continue to be mad about.

Shiro blaming himself for that stark scar on Keith’s face won’t help anyone though. 

“Just… make sure you tell him how important he is. He could stand to hear it more.”

Shiro looked up to meet Matt’s eyes. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”

Matt let out a breath, and slowly rested his hand on top of Keith’s. “I got to know him after he left Voltron. I… we haven’t spoken since Naxela though.”

Matt felt Shiro’s eyes on his and Keith’s hands. “Yeah… Coran told me about Naxela.”

It’s quiet for a bit - and slightly tense. It wasn’t until Shiro got up and put a hand on Matt’s shoulder that he spoke again.

“He’s lucky to have a friend like you, Matt.”

_ No _ , Matt thought as Shiro left,  _ I’m the lucky one _ .

* * *

A week went by, and then another, and another.

And on a Wednesday, Keith finally woke up.

It wasn’t until that Friday that Matt was able to see Keith.

It was unexpected - since Keith had found Matt on a bench just outside the Garrison grounds, overlooking what used to be a park but was no construction.

After a while, Matt couldn’t take the silence anymore.

“So how old are you now exactly? All this time dilation has got me confused.” Matt said.

“Uhh… twenty-one, biologically.” Keith guessed. “In Earth years? No idea.”

“You’re only two years younger than me now, what the fuck.” Matt said. 

“Yeah, well, you’re hair is longer than mine. How is that fair?”

And just like that, the tension broke. It had been years since Matt had heard that laugh, and god he had missed it.

“Look, Keith-”

“Matt-”

“I’m sorry-”

“I wanted to apolo-”

Both of them snapped their mouths shut. Keith took a breath.

“I’m not sorry for what I did on the mission. I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I could save them.” Keith said. “But I am sorry for shutting you out.”

“And I’m sorry too.” Matt said. “I was worried but I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I should have just been relieved you were okay.”

“And now,” Matt said, turning to face Keith full on. “What’s this I hear about a space whale?”

It was almost sunset when they were done telling stories. An orange and pink sky, the shadows of Lion’s helping with reconstruction. 

“I had a lot of time to think out there.” Keith said. “Retrospect was something hard to avoid out there.”

There’s more to that statement than what’s on the surface, Matt could tell. But that’s not the issue at hand.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say it back then.”

“Huh?”

Keith shifted. “I… I care about you too, Matt.” Keith wouldn’t look at him. “More than I realized.”

“Oh.” Matt said, and then internally scolded himself.

“I’m so used to losing people that I…” Keith sucked in a breath. “I didn’t want to let you in. But I had a long time before then, hadn’t I?”

Matt thought back to their first night together -  _ together _ . Skin on skin, the warmth, his name on Keith’s lips-

“And I don’t blame you at all for moving on, I was terrible to-”

“Keith.” Matt pressed his hand to Keith’s mouth, silencing and surprising him. “Shut up and listen, okay?”

Keith nodded, eyes wide. When it was clear he wouldn’t speak, Matt let his hand drop down from his mouth to grab Keith’s.

“I care about you. I still care about you.” Matt said. “You worked your way into my head and I wouldn’t be able to get you out if I tried.”

Matt squeezed Keith’s hands, leaning to the side a bit to he could see Keith’s face. “Keith, I think I love you.”

Matt would never forget the look on Keith’s face. Eyes shining and going wide, searching in Matt’s face for any sign of confirmation. The way his lips parted and the smallest breath came out.

The way his lips turned up into a… smirk?

“Oh, you  _ think  _ you do?” Keith teased scooting closer.

“I mean- I-” Matt stuttered. This was a new Keith wow okay. “I mean if you do then I know I _do_ but if you don’t I-”

“It’s your turn to shut up.” Keith said, before grabbing Matt by the shirt and pulling him into a kiss.

Keith’s sharper than he was before. More insistent, more confident. But the feeling was still the same. Electrifying, warmth -  _ Keith _ . It was worth distance of time and space. Light reaching each other from two different points, one-hundred million miles away.

It’s _ orange _ .

When they came up for air Matt couldn’t even breathe. His forehead leaning against Keith’s, staring into his eyes, was the only thing keeping him alive. That, and those words falling from Keith’s lips:

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: @cactusbirb


End file.
